Tag: yuri on ice

lavenderprose:

Viktor-sans-Yuuri is an “I want to go home” type of drunk

When they’re together, Viktor and Yuuri are definitely ‘oh dear oh god oh no’ type of drunk. The worst of bad influences on each other. One-tequila-two-tequila-three-tequila-floor type drunk. They’re let’s play stripping games in this club type drunk. It’s literal canon at this point and we are #blessed to have had this knowledge bestowed upon us.

But Viktor by himself rolls up on a club and is like “Waddup I want my HUSBAND do u feel me??”

Yuuri by himself mostly reverts back to his old drunk self–mostly a normal person, kind of sad, does the same stupid shit only by himself–but catch a singular Viktor sitting at a table by himself, squinting into the distance and waiting for someone to tell him he can go home .

I miss you 😢😢😢 he texts Yuuri when he’s only been gone for an hour.

We agreed that you would stay there for two hours Yuuri texts back. You’re halfway there, baby. Don’t give up now.

“Aren’t you glad to be out of the house?” asks someone, probably someone Viktor doesn’t like very much, probably one of the sponsors Viktor is currently trying to shmooze. “God, it’s good to be away from the ball and chain! You’re married now, Nikiforov, you understand.”

“Literally the only thing I want to do right now is go home and hug my husband for an entire hour,” Viktor tells him, mournfully scrolling up his text history with Yuuri. “I miss him so much.”

“Did Viktor’s…husband… die?” that guy asks a colleague across the room several minutes later. “He’s acting like he…died?”

“No, Petrovich, he just married someone he actually likes.”

Viktor is now staring deep into a champagne cocktail. “Yuuri loves these,” he says.

“Are you totally sure,” says Petrovich, “That his husband didn’t die.”

“I saw him in an elevator on Tuesday.”

Petrovich watches Viktor down the entire champagne cocktail. “I thought only strippers drank those things.”

lavenderprose:

Yuuri Katsuki is like the skating world’s Married Cousin™

Like, you always thought he was pretty cool and you still think that but he’s the oldest and he married well and now all anybody can talk about is Married Cousin Yuuri and you’re like Why can’t they ever talk about me, Straight B Student Cousin Kyle.

“Oh yeah, Viktor and I just bought a house,” says Married Cousin Yuuri, smiling and perfect as all of the trainwreck late-teen skaters simmer with jealousy in a corner.

“I used to be like you,” assures Married Cousin Yuuri, patting a young skater’s back as she has her fourth existential crisis of the day. “Before Viktor and I got married, I–”

“Ugh.” The skater wedges her head between her knees. “UGH.”

Getting an invitation to Viktor and Yuuri’s post-season celebratory dinner party is like being told by your mom that you’re going to Married Cousin Yuuri’s house for Thanksgiving because he and His Husband Viktor want the whole family to be there for their First Thanksgiving In The New House.

The only difference is that instead of standing up halfway through the meal and announcing that they’re having a baby, Viktor starts the night by walking into the dining room with not one but two poodle puppies in his arms and says, “Meet our babies!”

“I want to die,” mutters Yuri Plisetsky, and the five under-eighteen skaters surrounding him grunt in agreement.