sigma-enigma:

gallusrostromegalus:

kokonutwata:

jollysunflora:

teaforyourginaa:

undergravity:

airoe:

why is broccoli seen as this universally hated vegetable. broccoli is delicious

bc suburban families all over the world literally just steam/microwave their vegetables and serve them plain to their kids. No wonder kids hate vegetables. They’re taught that veggies are supposed to taste bad. but imagine: veggies with spices. Veggies in curry. veggies that are broiled, soaked, sautéed. aghhhh veggies are so good

Veggies of color (VOC)

People post good veggie recipes!!! Go!

i’m a vegan/vegetarian chef and yeah people generally don’t… season or… actually think about their vegetables at all? like if you treat your meal like “MEAT + unfortunate side dish i don’t want to eat + dessert” no fucking wonder you’re going to be unhappy with your results?? literally everyone should know how to cook vegetables WELL, because they can be fucking DELICIOUS? 

it’s not surprising to me that most people don’t actually… KNOW how to cook vegetables, which is really, really sad. so imma help y’all out. 

– grill your fucking vegetables? if you have a grill, or even a little dinky george foreman–grill those bitches. brush them with olive oil–or a mix of olive oil and balsalmic vinegar if you’re fancy, grill, salt, pepper, fresh herbs if you want, BAM. delicious. if you don’t, roasting is your next best option. you can also (if you have a gas stove and are ambitious) “grill” on the stove top. many a time i’ve stuck a sweet pepper on the stove and lit that bitch up! 

– braise those bitches??? good for leafy greens and vegetables like turnips and radishes. finely chop some garlic, onion, or scallion (or all three if you’re bold) and sautee them in a little oil. once they’re almost cooked, add your veg. keep it moving, don’t let anything burn, and add a capful of white wine, or cooking wine. DELICIOUS. 

– FRESH. HERBS. ARE. YOUR. FRIENDS? if you cannot get fresh (admittedly, i live on a farm, so i’m never short on things like dill, parsley, thyme, scallion, or cilantro) but they’re amazing on fresh veggies. sauteed in them in a pan? add some herbs. roasted them in the oven? add some herbs (and brown sugar if you want a savory sweet vibe)

– roast them in the oven if you don’t have time (or spoons) to stand up next to a hot ass stove for 5-20 minutes! vegetables that are good for roasting are typically ones that take a long time to cook, eggplants, potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, etc. of course, you can roast any veggie you like!

– MARINATE THOSE BITCHES??? literally you can make delicious marinades out of items most of you already have in your homes: honey/brown sugar, salt, soy sauce, sesame oil, etc. 

– FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK STOP ADDING EVERYTHING TO THE PAN AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. time out your veggies when sauteeing them for anything. if you’re doing a bunch of different ones, add the veggies to the pan first that take the longest. Making stir fry? put those motherfucking carrots in first, because they take FOREVER. onions, carrots, potatoes? put those in first. corn, broccoli, sweet pepper, zucchini? closer to the end, my dude, because they cook FAST. 

– ginger and scallion go excellently in stir fry btw. if when you make your stir fry it tastes like it’s “missing something”, that’s what you’re missing. add that shit. 

– you do NOT FUCKING NEED CHICKEN/BEEF STOCK FOR YOUR GODDAMN SOUP IF IT DOESN’T HAVE MEAT IN IT! sautee your veggies first, and you can use either powdered or canned coconut milk as the body. it makes for deliciously creamy soup. don’t worry about the coconut taste–it’s pretty much gone by the time your soup/stew is done cooking. coconut milk (especially powdered, and soy milk works for this too, no vanilla flavoring obviously) makes an excellent base for sauces for veggies, even if you eat meat! 

lastly, give it the ol’ ratatouille. smell your herbs and spices together. if they seem like they go well, odds are, they’ll taste bangin’ once you combine them. experiment. everything you make will not be good, but you’ll get more comfortable cooking. i’ve been a chef for like two years and i burned some bread today, so it’s okay. you’ll make mistakes. that’s how you learn. don’t be afraid to cut or burn yourself–the more afraid you are, the more likely it is to happen. 

you’re welcome, signed your local angry vegetarian chef who wants people to eat more vegetables

This is all very good advice for if you want/need to get more vegetables in your diet but haven’t cared for them in the past. A couple extra pointers form my expirience:

-If you’re subbing coconut milk for a meat-based stock you’ll probably want to add more salt than the original recipe calls for. And some garlic

-Actually, everything needs more garlic.

-The Ratatouille Method Works.  It works best when you’re feeling indescisive about what to make for dinner, so you go snack on whatever herbs/veg/sauce you have around and think about the flavors.

-Don’t be afraid to do this with fruit too!  Even if you’re a meat person like me, fruit goes great with lots of things and can benefit from many of the above cooking methods.  The main difference is that fruit tends to cook REALLY SUPER FAST so add it in at the last minute, or even last second.

-Looking Up Traditional Recipies.  Not eating enough plants is a very recent problem, and nearly every culture on earth has got some great veg recipies. Look up basic things like “French Carrots and Leeks Recipes” or find multicultural food blogs or heck, Actually Call Your Grandma* and ask what she did for vegetables.

*Caveat: If your grandma is like mine and all her recipies are from Her Grandmother from Industrial Liverpool and she lived through the Great Depression you might get a very detailed example of What Not To Do, which will at least be informative if also slightly terrifying.

Also even if you just microwave/boil your veggies they can still taste good? Like brocolli and a little parmesan cheese and garlic powder??? Hell, carrots and peas with some season salt???

like literally just fucking add some salt and oil to any veggie and it’s a million times better why are suburbanites so scared of seasoning???

fuckingrecipes:

defilerwyrm:

Me: What temperature should Brussels sprouts roast at again?
My brain: IDK, 500?
Me: Really?!
ADHD: You don’t need to double check that, it’ll be fine
Me, a fucking idiot about to make charcoal: Okay!

350 for 10 minutes

ADHD blows when it comes to cook times and double checking your info.

HOWEVER! You can always put a note on your oven that says “350 for ten minutes” 

It is a fairly rare day that anything you cook needs to be much higher than 350 degrees, and most loose things like veggies and chopped up meat will cook at that temp between 10-30 minutes.

So! If you have no fuckin’ clue how long you should cook your pile of veggies, bacon + potatoes, or whatever, grease it, spice it up, wrap it in tin foil so it doesn’t dry out, and stick it in the oven at 350 for… ten-ish minutes.

After your ten-minute timer beeps at you, Check how it’s cooking and then add another 5-10 minutes of cook time if it isn’t quite done yet. Rinse and Repeat until that shit’s cooked

Opening the oven will let some of the heat out, but if you’re not cooking something crazy delicate, it honestly doesn’t matter that much.

—
It’s always good to check the internet “How long should I cook x in the oven?” 
Especially with more delicate things like baked goods. 

However, I’ve managed to cook some pretty tasty coconut sugar cookies with zero measuring cups and “fuckit, 350 for 10 minutes”  – As well as various pizzas, casseroles, different roasted veggie mixes, and more. 

Toss stuff in oil and some spices, wrap in foil, and go to town. 

Brussel sprouts in particular take around 30 minutes at 350 because they’re real dense in the middle. 

Chopped Potatoes is 30 minutes at 350 – Likewise ‘cause root veggies are dense af

Acorn Squash halves (seeds removed) for 30-40 minutes

Whole Carrots is about 30 minutes at 350

Asparagus is 10 minutes at 350 

Broccoli is 15 minutes at 350 

Bacon is 10 minutes (or a lil more if you like em crispy)

Zucchini wedges are 15 minutes

Sugar cookies: 10 minutes 

‘toss shit together’ Cassarole : 15 minutes uncovered to toast the cheese on top, 15 minutes covered with foil

Salmon: wrapped in tin foil!!! for 25 minutes. 

Pizza: 10-15 minutes depending on how many toppings you loaded up and how thick the crust is.  Poke the center of the pizza to test cooking – you don’t want it doughy. 

 Notice all the ‘Multiples of 5′ we’ve got going on. Nothing is THAT accurate – we’re estimating based on averages, but all ovens will distribute heat in different ways, so exact cook time always varies. 

As you cook things in 10-minute intervals, you’ll start to get a sense for which things need more cook time – judging by the density of the flesh, how much you’re putting in the oven at once, and experience with cooking that stuff in the past. 

Just remember! 

350 for 10 minutes