How come when a house is haunted it’s always ghost from the 1800’s? Why there ain’t ever any ghosts from 2007 who screams “ITS BRITNEY BITCH!” 3 in the morning
Well, that don’t work in the scene I’m doing it’s too cute not to draw.
DAWWW SO CUTE :>
they use human chairs but really badly
same
Wait elongated chairs y’all. Eight chair legs instead of one, they can lie down majestically and put their chins on the table like they were always meant to.
more interesting alternatives to the typical ~sexy suave evil gentlemen~ vampires:
vampires who use their shape shifting/magical glamor abilities to explore gender identity/presentation/protect themselves from societal norms that could be harmful or get in their way
vampires who suffer chronic pain from injuries they got as humans that didn’t heal right
vampires with possibly outdated prosthesis because while they have a healing factor they can’t regrow limbs
child vampires whose fangs fall out/regrow every couple decades because they’ll always be baby teeth
poc vampires who adapt better because they’re less sensitive to sunlight/have vastly different ethereal characteristics than “I am a marble statue with shiny eyes”
vampires who have trouble maintaining their animal forms and/or accidentally turn into wolves/mice/bats in the middle of a conversation
vampires who love modern technology and gadgets and take to them better than humans do
vampires who lisp because their fangs are too big/uneven for their mouth
vampires who are really concerned about how short they’re starting to seem compared to modern humans
Pursuant to a recent post, several respondents suggested that I was off-base in my assessment of the vampire condition – to wit, that vampire senses are supernaturally attuned to blood-related phenomena in particular, not biological processes in general.
Under this model, a vampire can hear the pulse of your heartbeat or the rush of blood in your veins from across a room, but not necessarily – for example – the food digesting in your stomach.
Okay, fair enough.
But you know what else is a blood-related phenomenon?
Yep.
Can a vampire hear you get a boner?
Not just yours, I mean. Anybody’s. Imagine a vampire walking across a crowded shopping mall plaza, when suddenly her ears are pricked by the telltale creak of a situationally inappropriate erection exactly twenty feet to her left.
Or… maybe that’s not the sound it would make.
Physiologically, an erection operates by constricting the veins that empty blood from the tissues of the genitals, causing a positive pressure to build up.
And you know what happens when you constrict the flow of a pressurised fluid.
To a vampire’s senses, do boners whistle?
@thebibliosphere i demand you answer this question in your forthcoming bestseller
ImagineCreateDevour 