The bees and wasps now recognise me as the person who gives them water. Which sounds cool but it means everytime I go outside they harass me until I fill up the waterer. On the bright side, I no longer have to fear wasps as they just buzz around me non-threateningly now.
Look, sometimes murders of crows will blacken the sky at your coming and ravening wolves are gonna follow in your wake, and you’re just gonna have to deal with that, and everybody else in the Costco is just gonna have to deal too
every single time i tell people i plan on living in a haunted lighthouse and need a plan to afford a historical building like that, every single person, including my Mom, says “you could just build a new one and kill someone in it” and that’s why im never attending any of my friends’ housewarming parties
I’m going to start making up obnoxiously stupid answers every time someone tells me how young I look
“I’m actually a past version of myself, I had to time travel forward and kill the original because he became a juggalo”
“a witch cursed me on my seventeenth birthday and now I can only appear as my true age if someone kisses me, then she gave me this nose to make sure that wouldn’t happen”
“I’m two kids stacked on top of each other, I just wanted to see an R rated movie but things got way out of hand”
“yeah I had to stop a supervillain from flooding the water supply with a
de-aging serum because it would have killed all the babies, so I just…
ate all of it”
“I’m harboring the soul of an egyptian pharaoh who looks exactly like me but like a foot taller and way sexier”
“I was supposed to be a small nerdy sidekick but god forgot to assign me a protagonist to follow around so I’m just doin my thing”
ImagineCreateDevour 