every time I reblog this my sister sends me a message to the effect of “thank u for reposting that cat video on your tumblr i have seen it so many times but it delights me every time because their paws are so gentle and graceful”
My fiancee and I were discussing the worst metal to use to make armor, and the obvious answers are lead and gold, but she cunningly suggested mercury. Which is a fair point, but then I wondered if solid mercury is any good. Googling told me that the melting point of mercury is -38° c (-37° f), so first you get it really fucking cold. At that point, it turns out that mercury has a tensile strength of 1900 mpa, compared to lead’s 18 and steel’s ~500-940 (depending upon the kind of steel).
Now, I know that tensile strength is not necessarily the best measure of a material’s ability to function as armor, but I’m a liberal arts major and didn’t care to actually do that much more research before going straight to, “EVIL ICE DEMONS IN MERCURY ARMOR. THE PCS CAN’T LOOT IT BECAUSE WHEN THEY PUT IT ON IT MELTS AND KILLS THEM.”
#Disneypranks with Friends: “Beauty and the Beast” Edition, Vol. 2! 👽 (Messin’ with @tallykat3; with @jonerstrokes… Joan said they knew this would creep them out awww!! So adorable, I feel bad!! XD)
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look – that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
staying @ someone else’s place is so perpetually uncomfortable? everything feels like an inconvenience + invasion of privacy. sitting in a chair? inconvenience. opening a cabinet to get a glass? invasion of privacy. breathing? invasion of
-“hold onto your hats, kids, we’re gonna do some algebra!!! ….what? that’s a saying! that people say!”
-“you know, they used to call richmond ‘fist city’. why are you laughing”
-“so, if you start your weekend with $250, and you end up sunday night with $10- stop laughing, you’re gonna understand adulthood soon enough.”
-“no, i can’t put my age in the spreadsheet, it’s gonna fuck up the results because you’re aLL 18 and i’m OLD!”
-“i’m sorry an old man yelled at you, but that happens in the city. you just gotta get used to old men saying mean things. they’re mean to me too.”
-him: “okay kids, someone tell me a joke while i erase the board”
me: “my life”
him: “you think your life is a joke now? just wait ‘til you’re a grad student. god i’m sad.”
update: -“you think you guys have it hard ‘cause you have to do a page of math homework? i have 10 credits worth of classes, which is a FULL LOAD for a grad student, my teaching job, my OTHER job… i haven’t slept in so long. who has coffee. no, fuck red bull i don’t drink that shit unless i’m desperate” -“you know, space jam came on tv the other day. that’s one heck of a movie, kids” -him: “you guys can call me whatever you want, honestly, as long as it’s not old man” me: “who calls you that you’re like 25” him: “I FELL ASLEEP WATCHING ONE MOVIE OKAY. ONE.” -“i love my dog! he’s better than, well, most people actually” -“i’m not smart just because i can do complex math in my head! ….okay maybe i am but my point is you can too someday” -“you’re not bad at this just because you can’t figure out the problem! that’s why you’re in school. you gotta learn how to do it first! i believe in you!” -“are you telling me none of you full grown 90’s kids know how to use an excel spreadsheet??? i take it back i don’t know if i can do this anymore”
this got like 300+ notes in two days so here’s another update for y’all: -“stop putting yourself down! you can do math! it’s easy for me because it’s my career path. you can do it, i promise.” -him: “uh….. i really should’ve worked this problem out beforehand. i forget how to do it.” ta: “dude aren’t you learning theoretical math? this is ALGEBRA” him: “shhhhhhhhh” -“google maps should be able to tell you how many douchebags are on your route. yes, ellie, i remember every instance you’ve told me about.” -him: “try this problem out! it’s a pretty cool one, the answer took years to figure out.” me, twenty minutes later: “…..there’s no solution is there” him & his colleagues, cackling like gremlins: “NO!” me: “you let me STRUGGLE for that long????” them: “yeah it was really funny” -him: “you have FOUR SHOTS of caffeine in your coffee…. is your heart gonna explode” me: “actually, maybe, i forgot to take my heart meds this morning” him, doing a perfect impression of the caveman spongebob meme: “WHAT THE FU C K ELL IE”
another update for today -him: “so the variable is….” me: “i don’t…. know” him: “[strangled shrieking]” me: “you good?” him: “i am a hollowed out shell of a man” -me: “bruh” him: “don’t call me bruh” me: “sorry dude” him: “that’s better” -“you know those old 90’s karate movies with the sensei that’s a complete asshole? i’d like to be like that, but for math. the asshole math sensei. that’s me” -“i’m so old. do you even know what top gun is??? knowing space jam is one thing, but if you don’t know what top gun is i’m too old to be friends with you”
we’ve almost reached 2k… time for another update -me, getting my test back: “i hate myself” him: “wait til you hit your mid-twenties. then that self hatred will really start solidifying” -me: “so i /will/ pass out, but you don’t have to call an ambulance” him: “you’ve been in my class for an entire month ellie. why do you wait to tell me important things? i get memes in my email but i don’t get to know important health concerns.” -“apples are fun to throw at stop signs. what, i was young once” -“i had GREAT sleep last night. like, four entire hours. god it was wonderful” -him: “matrices really get me going” me: “uh, what?” him: “that means it makes you excited right?” me: “yes but probably not the way you wanted to mean”
ImagineCreateDevour 