funny – Page 44 – ImagineCreateDevour

love me a girl with glasses. bring that blind ass here ma. no…over here smh

lifeofkj:

ninquelen:

assassinationtipsforladies:

otdushi:

please don’t knock, the cat has the keys

So to visit them you must first catch their cat? That is some task for potential suitors in medieval epic poetry shit

Befriend. If the cat doesn’t like you, human inside probably won’t either.

Real life videogame level.

Sidequest

Befriend the cat who is the KEEPER OF THE KEYS

leinaisdreaming:

Assortment of Cats

About 11lbs each, various flavors, coming in their own baskets

The disposition of the assortment may vary

could-we-please-not:

Boromir: you carry the fate of us all, little one

Frodo: i’m literally ten years older than you

beesdontexist:

snow-jpg:

hey nonbinary parents u kno how there’s shortened terms for mother and father but no good shortened terms for parent?? well i have the solution for you!!! instead of “parent” u can call urself “guardian”
which can be shortened to “guard”
and then when ur kid says things like “sorry i can’t go my guard says no” they sound rich and mysteriously important and u dont get misgendered and everyone wins

Additionally, when your kid has a bad influence trying to get them to do something they know you would be against they could say “Sorry, I don’t want to let my guard down” which is both mysterious AND a pun

jons:

No offense but when will a nice boy with a pretty smile and good arms carry me away from this bullshit

falcnpunch:

R E T U R N T O T H E D E P T H S

satanstolemyvirginity:

Actually me

proudlyunicorn:

proudlyunicorn:

I’m gonna write a book series like Harry Potter where it starts pre-romantic interests age and I’m gonna make sure it gets super popular within its first two or three books and then I’m gonna drOP THE GAY BEAT and my publishers will be like “wait she can’t have a same sex love interest” and I’ll be like “if you want the next book, she sure as hell can” and that’s my gay agenda in a nutshell

*whispers* I’ll probably even kill a straight white guy it’ll be so great

acesirius:

acesirius:

acesirius:

acesirius:

i love when ur writing an essay and u all of a sudden get a burst of inspiration or find the perfect source to back up ur point and it’s like the clouds have parted and everything’s clear and ur not gonna have to drop out

never mind everything sucks essay writing is horrible i have no clue what im doing im gonna drop out and become a street performer

NEVER MIND IM THE KING OF ACADEMIA IM GONNA GET 100% IM GONNA FINISH ON TIME AND HAVE A WELL STRUCTURED ARGUMENT AND IT’S GONNA BE AWESOME

never mind.