9am saturday morning: “i’ve got the whole day, i’m gonna get so much done”
1pm saturday afternoon: still in my pajamas, on my 4th cup of coffee, deep in thought about generic subversion, censorship, and post-colonialism in 2000 animated gay romance “the road to el dorado”
i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair
this is extremely concerning and also very reassuring, thank you and please stop bringing pythons onto public transportation
i know people love the fake-married-but-then-fall-in-love trop but they always do it for weird reasons and i never see the most obvious reason which is to commit tax fraud.
people who go through college without drinking coffee to survive are impossibly stalwart and should never be challenged
but the people who DO drink coffee to survive college are filled with unstoppable power before their coffee, but only if every task they are completing is towards the goal of getting coffee
what im saying is: if a non-coffee-drinker stood in front of a coffee-drinker’s coffee maker, who would win?
ImagineCreateDevour 