Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”
I honestly can’t tell if OP is overly familiar with or not the least bit knowledgeable about white suburban existence because honestly this post is simultaneously such a grotesque caricature that it ceases to be recognizable as any kind of human experience and yet also rings so true that it’s eerie.
But I suppose if I saw a picture of that “fun pizza” without context I’d fucking lose what slippery grip I have on my sanity too.
if you ever doubt your writing, be it your themes, or the reason behind it, remember that h.g wells wrote war of the worlds both as a commentary on colonialism and the horrors it brings, and because he fucking hated his neighbours and his 13 hour job, and wanted to write about the town in which he lived getting blasted to the fucking ground by lasers into an irreparable heap and all of the townspeople dying painfully
you, too, can channel your hatred for that guy that lives down the hall and blasts music at 4am into the one of the most influential science fiction stories ever written! fuck it! i believe in you!!
DUDE my teacher canceled class the other day and so the next day we were all like oh no is everything ok?? and shes like “oh yeah its fine its just my wife wasn’t feeling good so i took her home, made her some soup, yknow fun stuff” and i swear everyone in class froze for a sec cuz we never knew she was a lesbian but then we spent a good 30 min of class time discussing whether her wife actually ate the soup cuz we all know she sucks at cooking
this is beautiful
I had a professor who would talk in class about her wife and their four daughters and it always made me go !!! inside. like, wooooow, family goals.
In my undergrad, I took a module that had two lecturers teaching it. The first was very butch and would occasionally talk about how brilliant her wife was in the field and would talk about her kids and general family life. Then the other lecturer took over classes, and she would talk about her wife too, and how brilliant her wife was academically. Then they taught a class together and the penny dropped. They were talking about each other and both thought the other was the literal shit in their area of media.
It’s been delightful for me to watch my friends finally able to get legally married. Every time @crofethr says “my wife” it’s like a chorus of bluejays dance around behind her.
I was at work at a deli a few weeks ago and this group of three women came in pretty late at night. One was the mother of one of them, and the other two were just being really cute and holding hands and cuddling and whatnot. One was leaning on the other and she seemed really tired, so her wife ordered for her and the mom was like, “Married for seven years, they know each others’ orders by heart” and I honestly felt like I’d been blessed
one time a lecturer was discussing all the stupid reasons she’s been called up in front of the board (which include an actual formal accusation of witchcraft) and once a student accused her of homophobia and homophobic statements and she walked into the formal board hearing with her only prepared defense being “remember how I’m married to another woman ok thanks let’s go get lunch”
omg when ladies talk about their wives and just say “my wife” I just get so excited and happy because it is all possible and real. it’s so amazing and beautiful
I’m an optician and one day I had 2 women, one blonde and one brunette, come in to pick up glasses. I had the blonde try on hers while the brunette was talking to one of my coworkers. When she put them on I said, “Oh looks like they’re not sitting straight.” Without missing a beat she said “Oh honey, nothing about me is straight,” and proceeded to pat her wife on the butt and say “Honey, did you hear what I said? It was really funny. Honey? Honey, I said nothing about me is straight.”
ImagineCreateDevour 