Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years.
Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’
We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.
It’s a really long time guys.
Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version.
If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…
300: step pyramid built
450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
815: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out
950: Egypt re-unified
1350: Middle Kingdom ends
1450: New Kingdom begins
1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city
1680: Tutankhamun dies
1720: Ramesses II ‘the great’ ascends to the throne
1740: World’s first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children
1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again
And now we get to ~~~~the future~~~~. If we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet
2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over
2335: Assyrian conquest
2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
2930: Cleopatra VII born
2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.
And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates
I hate that this is still getting notes but that it’s getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c’mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS
The Sphynx is aligned to where the constellation of Leo was 13,000 years ago.
13,000 years ago, the Earth was in the middle of an ice age.
The previous time the Sphynx would have been aligned to Leo would have been 39,000 years ago.
Also, the pyramids were build way earlier than experts claim they were. They were refurbished three thousand years ago.
Shut the fuck up the Egyptians gave exactly 0 fucks about the stars (except the sun) you tinfoil hatted embarrassment
Whenever you say “EXPERTS are WRONG” somewhere an Egyptologist screeches before throwing a rusty cactus at your face at high velocity
Wow, it’s almost like being refurbished 3000 years ago (3800 years ago to be precise) was done by Ramesses II who proclaimed on his restoration stele that he had repaired the work of ‘Dual King, Lord of the Two Lands, Khufu lph’ and that it was done from ‘good Egyptian limestone in perfect order’
Egyptian officials buried at Giza also have titles like ‘Overseer of the Pyramid Complex of Khufu’ (or Khafre or Menkaure) and examining their teeth means we can tell where they were, what they ate as children, and when they lived up until they died. You think we can’t date the Pyramids from that?
These officials also have tomb biographies, which have fucking Regnal years listed and the King they worked for listed in them. Regnal years that the Egyptians kept records of in their King Lists all the way up until fucking Cleopatra.
But let’s not let a little thing like contemporaneous proclamations by the Ancient Egyptiansthemselves get in the way of your racist fucknut conspiracy theories.
There are three celestial bodies the Egyptians gave a fuck about:
The Sun
The heliacal rising of the Dog Star Sirius (aka Sothis) for the changing of phyles of Priests and determining the New Year – which is really fucking accurate and therefore we can actually date things according to this…like the reigns of Pharaohs.
The Moon
And just as a final screw in your already well buried coffin: The Step Pyramid at Saqqara (also restored by Ramesses II in his great pilgrimage to the (already) ancient sites of his predecessors). This one predates the Giza Pyramids by at least 100 years, but none of you escapees from the reject Alex Jones bin seem to think of the Pyramids that came before the Pyramids at Giza. Y’know, all the test pyramids like the Bent Pyramid and the Red Pyramid. The Pyramids at Meidum that are former sun temples but converted into Pyramids that are built from mud brick but have since crumbled and just look like hills.
Somehow you imbecilic wankstains have managed to miss that we’ve actually got a fucking timeline of how the Egyptians developed the art of Pyramid building; going from the Step Pyramid to the True Pyramid in about 150 years. They fucked up along the way pretty hard, but they did give it a go.
I mean we even have the Red Sea log book which has the goddamn date in it (this is something the Egyptians never faltered on in their history. The only times it looks odd to us are the erasure of Hatshepsut and Akhenaten and the wHm mswt (Repeating of Births) for Ramesses XI who had his reign restarted for reasons still unknown – he was possibly autistic) which tells us when the Egyptians were moving the stones for the Pyramids from the Limestone quarries on the Red sea.
This is how we know they’re not 13,000 or even 39,000 years old. Unless you want to somehow convince me that 39,000 years ago the Egyptians had a fully fledged Hieroglyphic writing system and wrote the Red Sea log book about the quarries, and then 34,000 years after that somehow regressed to basic hieroglyphs again only to build right back up to the same level of writing they were at before??
This is what that discredited Geologist failed to take into account in his dumb theory about the age of the Sphinx
This is why Egyptologists and other Geologists laugh at that dumb theory
You want me to believe that the Egyptians were somehow constructing mega monuments 39,000 years ago when all other humans on the planet were still small nomadic hunter gatherer groups, and that all the evidence I’ve listed from the words and deeds left by the Egyptians themselves is somehow wrong?
Chapter 7: Persephone looked at the birds pecking the crimson pomegranate seeds. If she married as the Queen suggested, Zeus would no longer be her legal guardian and she would just owe him the same obedience as the rest of immortals. If she got married, the prohibitions, the clandestine readings and that suffocating fear of being discovered in her actions would end … But, by marrying a god, she would still belong to someone. Her husband would be her new family and he would have full control over her words and actions. Accepting such fate would be an outrage to her poor maiden’s heart.
this is whats called a ‘coffer dam’, you basically build some walls, drop them in the water, tie them together, and then pump out the water from your new hole in the water so you can build while staying dry
its oddly not that hard- the flippin ROMANS were able to do it with logs and mud
occasionally particularly devious people would use this to hide treasure or tombs underneath the river so its not only impossible to find but impossible to get to without an engineer division
that last part gives me ideas for campaigns
“Not that hard – the ROMANS were able to do it” – people seriously underestimate how advanced some ancient cultures were and the organized effort it takes to come up with something like this and actually implement it. The Romans had heated floors, glass windows and ceilings that could be rotated to reflect what you were eating (forests for game, sea landscapes for fish). Hell, the Greeks built cameras and moving robots. The Minoans, who lived four thousands years ago and were wiped out by a tsunami three times as powerful as the one which devasted Japan in 2011, had running water and modern toilets. And let’s not get into how China basically invented everything centuries before anyone else.
Bottom line: just because someone was already doing it thousands of years ago, doesn’t mean it’s not very difficult and an extraordinary feat of engineering.
someone: you build how many bridges on a single military campaign…?
We have a lot of sources from Ancient Egypt, especially the Old Kingdom (~2700-2200), that mention dwarves, their titles, their ranks, and their official functions in AE society.
The AE word for dwarf/pygmy/little person is “dng”, possibly pronounced “Deneg” or ”Daneg”. Alternatively, the word could also be written as “dAg”. Usually, as a Determinative, the sign A282 is used:
Furthermore, there was a differenciation between what people tend to call “Pygmies” – which were usually brought* to Egypt for dance shows and celebrations (dngjbA,w), and Egyptian born dwarves. *These were highly requested artists, who were paid well and enjoyed high status.
During the Old Kingdom, dwarves were highly respected, and even thought to be magical, or blessed by the gods. The first signs of possible ableism and discrimination because of their stature crop up in New Kingdom wisdom texts* (texts that describe how to be a wise and well mannered person), where one would be admonished to not treat dwarves and people with disabilities badly. *one example would be
papyrus B.M. 10474
The fact that dwarvism doesn’t appear at all in AE medicinal texts, makes it probable that AE doctors knew dwarvism wasn’t an illness that needed to be cured.
The most famous artistic depiction of a dwarf is the Old Kingdom statue of Seneb and his family, found in his tomb. He was married to a member of the aristocracy, he fathered “normal” sons and enjoyed high rank in the royal court. His many titles reveal that he performed ritual duties as a priest and was denoted “Beloved of the King,” in addition to enjoying prestigious occupations such as control over weaving activities in the palace, control of the seal (a byword for royal trust) and charge of ritual boats.
Another dwarf, this time a so called “Pygmy”, that would be imported* from Punt, is mentioned in a letter, written by the young king Pepi II.
2284–2184 BC. The king expresses his excitement about getting to see the dwarf, and also concecrn about his safety and well-being. (Letter to Herchuf from Pepi II. – there are multiple good translations out there, personally I prefer the TLA one, but not everyone understands German.) *maybe imported is the wrong word, it would have been a great honor for the dwarf, to get to dance for the king of Egypt, and he would have been richly rewarded!
A third, very interesting depiction of a dwarf comes from the time of
King Nectanebo II, the last ruler of the 30th dynasty (he reigned between 360–343 BCE, so in the Late Period). The naked figure of the dwarf Djeho, at life-size, measuring 120 cm, is carved on the lid of his sarcophagus, which is made out of granite and is of superb workmanship.
Recommended reading:
Hans-Werner Fischer-Elfert: „Lache nicht über einen Blinden und verspotte nicht einen Zwerg!“ Über den Umgang mit Behinderten im Alten Ägypten. In: Max Liedtke (Hrsg.): Behinderung als pädagogische und politische Herausforderung. Historische und systematische Aspekte. 1996, S. 93–116.
C. Kozma: Dwarfs in Ancient Egypt. Hoboken NJ 2006.
V. Dasen: Dwarfs in Ancient Egypt and Greece. Oxford u. a. 2013
I’ve decided to put together a quick glossary of terms for newbies to the kemetic community. I hope this helps you! Feel free to add your own, too.
Em Hotep – this is a welcoming greeting that roughly translates into “in peace.”
Netjer – the Egyptian word for God. There is also Netjeru, for Gods. Along with this, there is also Dua, which is an invocation. Dua Netjer / Dua [Diety Name] is a common way to use this.
Senebty – used as a farewell, akin to goodbye.
Heka – the Egyptian word for magic. Heka is a sort of divine energy that is all around us, and is a gift from the Gods.
Ma’at – one of the hardest words to explain. It has no singular meaning, but is a combination of words such as harmony, balance, truth, and justice. Ma’at is “the right way” of living for kemetic followers. Confusingly, Ma’at is also the name of a goddess. You can read more about her here.
made the mistake of reading up about Alexander the Great’s relationship with his best friend Hephaestion and learnt that he was kind of a drama queen because
after Hephaestion died, he spent maybe 1.5 billion dollars on his funeral which is a conservative estimate
spent all night weeping over the body until they dragged him away
extinguished a light only reserved to signify the death of the king (i.e. himself, Alexander the Great)
went to the oracle and petitioned to have Hephaestion granted the status of a god but was denied
nine months later, was still planning expensive monuments dedicated to his pal, except then he died, so what can you do
people say the only thing that ever defeated Alexander the Great was Hephaestion’s thighs
History trying to tune down the gay be like “This friendship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others as well asthemselves, to that of Achilles and Patroclus.” without realising that’s the gayest comparison they could make.
ImagineCreateDevour 