brokestminimalist:

brokestminimalist:

… because way too many people fail at this and waste too much time.  Wasting your own time and others’ is not a good minimalist activity.

1.  Dial number.  Wait for a person to answer. Exchange greetings/pleasantries. 

2. Ask to make appointment.  Do not tell the receptionist your life’s story.  Do not begin with something like, “My eye itches” or “Last week my mom’s cousin’s sister’s dog hurt its leg” or “My uncle had the flu last year and I think I have ebola”.  This is not information the receptionist needs to know yet.  All they need to know is: “I need to make an appointment please.”

3.  The receptionist may ask you questions like, “Are you a patient here?” or “Do you have an account with us?” etc.  Answer them appropriately.  They may then ask you the reason for the appointment.  Again, do not tell the receptionist your life’s story.  You can tell the doctor/dentist/lawyer/veterinarian/chiropractor all the details when you get there.  Just answer the questions briefly. “I need a checkup.” “My child needs a dental cleaning.” “I wanted to discuss X, Y, or Z”. “My dog is due for his vaccines.” etc, etc. 

4.  Discuss dates and times and settle on an appointment time.  Thank the receptionist, say goodbye and hang up. 

5.  Show up to your appointment. Do not come unprepared like a dumbass.  Bring any necessary paperwork like identification, insurance, or vaccine records.  Show up a few minutes early so you have time to fill out paperwork. 

Bonus tip: if you aren’t sure whether or not your issue needs to be seen, tell them you have a question.  The person answering the phones may have other responsibilities besides answering questions, or they may have someone in the office in front of them who they need to help first.  They also may just be the person who answers the phones and may not have any actual expertise in medical/legal/etc. matters and won’t be able to answer your question anyway.  For these reasons, do not just launch into a story about what/who/when/why/where as soon as someone picks up. 

Here is a good phrase:  “I have an issue that I’m not sure about, can you help me?” or “I have a question, are you busy at the moment?” Do not be mad if they put you on hold.  Do not tell them your life’s story.  Ask a single direct question. 

For example, say something like this:

“I have a pretty deep cut on my left hand that was made by a contaminated knife, should I come in and have it looked at?”

Don’t do this:

“So my mom’s boyfriend took us fishing this morning and we left at like 6 this morning and went out to the lake, and then we caught like 5 fish but we threw some back but then it was lunchtime and my mom was showing us how to prep the fish for the campfire and I tried to do one myself but I cut myself instead and that was six hours ago and it’s kind of bleeding but my neighbor put some superglue on it.  What should I do?”

ADDENDUM

When you arrive for your appointment, and you walk up to the desk, and the receptionist asks how he or she can help you, here is the correct thing to say:

“I have an appointment at [time].”

Here are some things to not say:

“[your name]” – John Smith?  What about John Smith?  Is he someone we should know?  Does he have an appointment? Do you need to pick up some medicine for him?   SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES, you are talking to a human being, not a psychic.

“My leg hurts.”  – Aaand?  What do you want us to do about it? Do you have an appointment?

“My cousin has ebola.” – No he doesn’t.

“[your life’s story]” – Just stop.  No one cares. 

“[your child’s name]” – Again, just saying a name is not helpful. Speak in complete sentences.  “My child has an appointment at [time].”  

“[your dog’s name]”  –  If someone walked up to you and just said the word “Rover” would that be helpful to you at all, or would you need more information?  

“I’m the one who called yesterday” – Guess what, 500 people called yesterday.  You’re going to have to be more specific.