some greek mythology pickup lines for y’all on this valentine’s day

thoodleoo:

• you can call me zeus, because i’m an animal in bed
• are you feeling tired? because it’s a long way from mt. olympus, and you look absolutely divine
• if i were achilles, then you’d be my heel, because i’m weak for you
• it’s a good thing you’re not my dead wife that i’m trying to lead back from the underworld, because i can’t stop looking at you
• you remind me a lot of my mother…anyway, let’s make out
• did you fall from heaven? because if so that is actually a tragic tale of youthful folly, and your melted wax wings are making any sort of amatory encounter difficult as they only serve as a reminder of foolish childhood and of the danger that innovation brings