Any tips for holding a conversation? I run out of ideas after talking about the weather. I feel like I drive people away if I talk about myself or my problems, and the last thing I wanna hear is people telling me to go away and/or just talk to a shrink instead of them.

yournewapartment:

From one socially anxious person to another, my favorite thing to do is ask people about their interests! People love to talk about things they like. Ask about hobbies– what do they like to do out of work and school? Ask them to “tell you more” about whatever it is, and chime in to ask more questions or express your interest by saying something like “that’s so cool!”

Then, you can share your own interests! You may even find that you have interests in common. Don’t feel compelled to talk so much about your problems, unless it’s a close friend you trust, try to keep the conversation light.

Here are a few topic ideas:

• food– what you like to eat or cook, restaurants, different dietary preferences
• fitness/working out/sports
• video games/TV/movies/books
• current events (try to keep it light and avoid controversial religion/politics unless you have a good relationship already)
• random stuff that’s happening at your workplace or school that day or week
• pets/animals
• travel
• how their work is going (if they’re frustrated or upset about anything, I’m sure they’ll be glad to talk to you about it!)
• funny or interesting things that have happened recently to you  or something that you saw or read about
• significant others (if you or they have one and you’re comfortable talking about it)

If you do want to talk about problems or issues, it’s not a bad idea to check in with them first, by saying something like “Hey, I’ve been going through some stuff, is it okay if I talk to you and vent about it?” Most likely they’ll say “sure!” but this gives them an option to say they’d rather not or they don’t feel comfortable. In that case, just stick to the topics above!

Avoid gossip, talking about other people, talking about appearances, complaining too much about a situation, being too negative, or potentially controversial topics! Try not to make assumptions about them based on anything. You’ve got this!– Mimi